As a health care worker, you usually know the right things to say. You tell patients and parents what to do, and what not to do. You give directions and instructions. You are confident because you’ve perfected this over the years. It has become a part of you, You’re so used to it it is second nature.
When it is your turn to practice what you teach and preach, you find the shoe kinda uncomfortable. You know exactly what you should do but you’re not sure whether it’s the right thing or the right dose. You end up second guessing your every decision. I think this is why it is against medical ethics to treat those closest to you, like family.
Day One Alone With Son …
In our African culture, a close relative usually comes around to assist the new mother with daily chores as she rests. With urbanization, this is becoming quite a challenge as spaces become smaller. So we had to do a lot of stuff by ourselves.
In Kenya, at the time, men were allowed two weeks paternity leave. This is a very short time, however, and for a few months it was upon us to find a routine that works. This was one of the hardest period of being a new dad.
I had to learn how to cook, and fast. Uji was a must know, chai and getting used to Njahí. I had to drop my social life, to take care of the new mum and our bundle of joy.
So everday I just stared at him as he slept. I swear I had to put my ear against his nose to listen to him breath. There were times I thought I couldn’t see his chest move.
Were we feeding him enough? Or too much? Do we bathe or just wipe him? Should he lie on his back or side? For how long should he sleep between breastfeeding sessions? Questions, uncertainty and fear all combined into one single experience.
That first day I couldn’t sleep. I watched mother and baby sleep. I wanted to be alert in case something unexpected.
Luckily, nothing happened. Our boy grew uneventfully. No illnelsses, fevers or abnormal colics. We were lucky he was a calm boy.
They say first borns are understanding. I think they somehow know their parents are new at this and are unsure of everything. It turns to be a learning experience for both parties. The child grows while the new parents learn.
Me, My Son And His Mom 